I Want My MTV

Posted by ambaraj / at 3:59 AM / /

I had the TV in the hospital, and for a mere $4 a day I had access to entire network of about 20 channels including the Breastfeeding Channel and the Stained Glass Window Channel.

The Stained Glass Window Channel showed a stained glass window for 23 1/2 hours a day, and for 30 minutes had inspirational religious progamming. The Breastfeeding Channel is the porn channel.

Now in rehab, I have Dish TV, with CBS, NBC, ABC, Fox, WOR, WPIX, Discovery, another Discovery, TLC, USA, TBS, some Spanish channel, and 3 Hindi channels. And Dish TV is awful. If there is a chance of rain, it goes out and becomes the "satellite is searching for a signal network."

I miss my days of sitting on the couch (RIP...sigh) and flipping endlessly through my hundred or so favorites, watching Magilla Gorilla, and Spongebob, and Beaver, and Reno 911 (my cable channels are awesome) thinking my joy would have no end.

Me and my remote--what a team.

When I get out of here, I'll be spending some quality time getting reaquianted with my TV.

I've written a haiku for my TV

My cable TV
Bringer of such happiness
I miss you so much

Can't you feel the longing and the love?


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